Articles & Presentations

The Human Capacity To Become The Other
By Kendra Coleman, MSOD and Ellen Leader, MSOD

Most of us won't forget the disturbing images of the atrocities at Abu Ghraib. Some soldiers were condemned for "just following orders." Many called them immoral for not engaging the ethical questions, claiming, "I would have challenged the orders."

Yet after only fifteen minutes into a leadership and ethics exercise that used stuffed animals and dolls to simulate the events at the prison, members of a graduate cohort including the professor, an expert on leadership, were left stunned. Members found themselves reexamining their assumptions, and more potently, found themselves face to face with a part of themselves most preferred the public not see. Emotions ranging from sadness, surprise, shame, shock, and anger filled the room as some cohort members began to realize that some part of them had become like the soldiers. In fifteen minutes, they had become like the Others.

This real life scenario illustrates the human capacity to become the Other - and perhaps to the dismay of those experiencing the phenomenon - to do so in a matter of minutes without much effort. Leadership and ethics has taken center stage in the last few years with high profile corporate scandals and cross-border travesties blazing the conversation trail. Immediately following these conversations are quick accusations, which demonize those performing the deviant act. Blame is pinned on one individual or small group assuming that they and the event are an isolated rarity. All the while, the observer virtually ignores external forces such as societal and political. Yet, upon further reflection, we often realize there was more to the story than at first glance.

How do we accept both the fact that we might easily become caught up in such a whirlwind of external forces, behaving in ways that surprise us, and at the same time, work to avoid such situations at all costs? When we find ourselves tempted to judge or condemn behavior, we need to ask ourselves - what does our reaction say about us? What deviant and scary parts of ourselves do we identify with in Others? And for those of us who are OD practitioners, what does this mean for our clients?

Relating to the Other

The Emotional Intelligence movement has led to much dialogue resulting in the practice of intentional engagement of Others, particularly via empathy (understanding others feelings) as well as perspective taking (understanding others' thoughts). Our contention is that there is value in taking these concepts further so people begin to consciously identify themselves in Others - especially when the looking ain't so good.

Melanie Klein provides insight into this practice in her discussion of projective identification - a psychological process where we project split-off or disowned parts of ourselves onto external objects. This behavior, beginning in infancy and carried into adulthood as a defense mechanism, protects us from seeing parts of ourselves we don't care to see. In the case of Abu Ghraib, rather than face the fact that anyone may be capable of "just following orders," condemning the soldiers was an unconscious projection of that part of themselves onto Others.

Polarity management theory further challenges us to connect with our split off selves, asserting we all have opposite characteristics within us and can't truly embrace one part of our personality without embracing its opposite.

Given the ease at which many engage in unconscious/unintentional projective identification, what should we as OD practitioners be doing to support organizational effectiveness that draws from sound data and supports open communication? And what practices might we encourage our clients to take on? We suggest:

Commit to self-awareness. Recognize that we often are capable of doing that which we say we wouldn't. Acknowledging both what we like and dislike about ourselves facilitates an authentic relationship with our clients and ourselves.
Deliberately explore and recognize both our "good" and "bad" characteristics. While this is easier said than done, we believe the benefits of authenticity far outweigh the negatives. An experiential role-play can create a vehicle for us and our clients to explore personality characteristics we may not normally choose to display.
Intentionally seek to see ourselves in Others. Especially when having a strong reaction to others behavior, we need to stay open and explore how that behavior may be a part of who we are. Through coaching, we can ask questions of our clients and ourselves that explore how we see ourselves reflected in others.
Create a safe environment for exploring the Other. Clients will only reveal their vulnerability if they feel safe. Empathy helps create a safe environment through which we can connect as human beings in a trusting and respectful relationship.
Suspend judgment. The ethical dilemmas clients face are real and often difficult. If we are too quick to judge them as immoral, having true empathy will be difficult, and will limit our ability to help. The human capacity to become the Other is profoundly simple and not a single one of us is immune. As circumstances and environment change, who's to say what we would do or who we would become?

About the Authors

Kendra Coleman, MSOD, is an OD Consultant and Principal of Chicago-based Kindred Organizational Consulting, Inc. She works with individuals and organizations to increase their effectiveness and capability to manage change and meet personal and business goals & objectives. You can contact her via email: info@kindredorg.com or by phone at 312-399-6599.

Ellen Leader, MSOD, is Organizational Consultant with Authenticity (authenticity.biz), a Boston-based leadership and team development firm that partners with organizations to help them achieve their objectives, navigate the day-to-day challenges, and create their ideal future. She can be contacted at ellen@authenticity.biz or at 781-237-0923.